Ticking away ~ Day 1056 ... oh, that's a bit of a blow.

After a week of scans, bloodtests and what have you I turned up at hospital this morning wondering if I was fit enough to join the Clinical Trial I had been screened for ...

The doctor asked how my back felt and I told her that it had started to feel easier. She then informed me that the MRI scan showed that cancer cells had got into my spine and this had resulted in some compression of the vertebrae. As a result the only course of action she could recommend was radiotherapy ... starting today.

The chances of being involved in the clinical trial are obviously reduced but they are going to ascertain whether I can still take part if the radiotherapy is effective ...

By about midday I was once more being irradiated (you feel nothing) and I was home by 2-ish. I will now have treatment for the next four days (excluding the weekend). I have been warned about the possibility of increased pain (at least initially) so I need to keep my painkillers close by.

It's a blow. I have always been able to console myself with the thought that I would get better in a few days time ... or a week ... or a month.

I will prevail for as long as I can.

It is two years and two days since I retired. Here I am enjoying a pint as a newly retired Legal Executive ...

Ticking away ... Day 1011 ~ deep in the natal cleft ...

Note for the squeamish ~ you'd best not read this.

Sunday morning used to be about getting out walking ... and thinking about a pub lunch ... but as I lay on my bed this [mid] morning I brought to mind Bob Dylan's song 'Things Have Changed' ...

Then I started to wonder whether I should post this blog. Do people really want to know about the side effects [assuming that's what they are] of radiotherapy ?

Well, I always intended this to be a full and truthful journey ... warts and all.

Fortunately warts aren't involved. 

Phew, I hear you say.

However, I have developed two other rather unpleasant symptoms.

The first is oedema ~ fluid retention in the body ~ and this has occurred in a most personal and private place. My GP recommended frozen peas. So on a couple of occasions I have laid down on the bed with a packet of frozen peas wrapped in a cloth pressed against a certain part of me for over 15 minutes. Thankfully it has worked. Whether this will be a regular occurrence we will see. Fortunately the oedema doesn't hurt.

Incidentally [and I did ask] I couldn't get a prescription for frozen peas.

The vision of me lying on a bed with a bag of frozen peas pressed against me has its amusing side ... many is the wry smile that has appeared when I have told members of my immediate family. 

Just in case you wondered, the oedema and the lymphoedema in my right leg are separate matters.

The second problem area is just a few inches away but round the back [in the natal cleft] where I am incredibly sore and which has been seeping blood very slightly. Savlon has been liberally applied by a 'volunteer' ! Did I mention that this is sore ?

On a plus note I am generally feeling better and hopefully the two side effects mentioned above will lessen or go away completely in the next few days.

I apologise if anyone thinks this is going into too much detail but I was never aware of this sort of thing happening and personally I think we should be more open about these things ...and, of course, you don't have to read this.

In other news I have actually made an appointment with the dentist.

Ticking away ... Day 1000 ~ Man of the Thousand Days ...

First, please allow me to ask that no one writes "here's to the next 1000 ..." I can only think along the lines of one day at a time.

So, what news ?

I've finished my radiotherapy ~ and this is my first free day [other than last weekend] for a while. I feel good, well ... ok ...

I was warned that I might be in more pain for a while after the treatment than before but when there's no real reaction after the first couple of days then you tend to think [well, I do] that that's the way it's going to stay.

The note I was handed when I finished my treatment mentioned that "radiotherapy reactions continue to build up for a week or two and should then settle down over a few weeks ..." ~ we'll have to wait and see but so far I am in some discomfort. I feel as though I've been kicked in my left buttock by a donkey.

The only piece of music of merit that I recall from the last two sessions was Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. It's difficult keeping still when that's playing and on that particular day it was playing loudest of the five days. The line that stuck with me from the song [for some reason] was " ... nothing really matters ..." ...

Yesterday, on the last day of treatment, I thanked the radiographers and technical staff in the room and said how they had helped me through the experience ~ they were marvellous.

So, now we wait and see how it's all gone. I have another four-weekly follow-up appointment a week today. My, how time flies when you're having ... treatment.

Finally as you can see one thousand days has passed since I was diagnosed. I can't believe it. Thank you whether you've been with me all along or just picked up on my ramblings recently. All your comments make a difference. 

There's talk of a little celebration this evening. Let's hope I'm up to it. So far I don't see any reason not to be there ...

Once again, thank you.

Ticking away ... Day 996 ~ Lust for Life ...

Here I am, three fifths of the way through my course of radiotherapy. 

They said I would probably feel tired and possibly slightly nauseous. They also said that the pain might get worse before it got better.

They were right. 

Hey, at least I'm not hobbling around quite as much. The limp and/or the lump seem to be less of a problem.

I ... just ... feel ... a ... bit ... rough ...

The actual radiotherapy lasts just five or six minutes ... and part of that time is me hoisting myself on to the couch and adjusting my clothing so that the radiographers can line up on the little marks on my skin around the left side of my groin. The treatment is nothing unpleasant ~ it's just like a long x-ray.

The radiographers have been brilliant. They've been friendly and understanding. When I left on Friday afternoon they all wished me a 'good weekend' ... and not just me but all the other patients too.

For that five or six minutes of treatment there's two hours travelling and a short wait.

Why Lust for Life ?

Well as I lay there for my first treatment on Wednesday, and after the radiographers had left the room, I could hear some background music coming from somewhere in the room.

It was Iggy Pop's Lust for Life. I smiled ... perhaps there's someone with a sense of humour looking after me.

There's a link here if you want to listen to the song. Only listen if you like rock music and can stomach a few scenes from Transpotting.

If you don't want to listen to Iggy Pop [or even if you do] then you can have a look at me [with my fat right leg] sitting in the Peak District Countryside after a bacon and sausage [!] bap on my way home after the first treatment ... 

 

Ticking away ... Day 991 ~ Irradiate ! Irradiate ! Irradiate ! ...

I have something to confess. I talk to myself at times. Well, that's not strictly true, a little voice in my head talks to me telling 'Charlie Boy' to do this ... and to do that ... most often it's saying 'come on, Charlie Boy, you can cope ... don't lose your grip ...'

The thing is no one really prepares you for slowly falling off the Edge of the World. 

You can't jump off the x-ray couch and form a 'T' with both hands and ask for some 'time out'. 

Today though the little voice inside my head [which, it has to be said, makes me smile quite a lot] said wouldn't it be funny when you start your radiotherapy if a Dalek-like voice calls out from behind the screen "Irradiate ! Irradiate !  Irradiate !"

In the event I didn't get the chance to see if this was actually going to happen because although I was x-rayed and marked up ready to be irradiated I was told half an hour later that, in fact, my actual treatment wouldn't be starting until Wednesday with further 'doses' on Thursday, Friday, Monday and Tuesday ... then that would be it.

 The doctor this morning mentioned in passing that the radiotherapy wasn't a cure ... it was just to help ease the pain ... and it has to be said pain has surfaced and made itself known ... rather like an uninvited shark at a swimming gala.

At present I'm hobbling around a bit. I walk upstairs labouriously putting my right foot on a step and then bringing my uncomfortable [ok, painful] left leg up to the same step. [I now avoid walking up steps if there's a crowd behind me.]

 

"Come on Charlie Boy. Stop whinging ... go and make yourself a coffee ..."