Hard to believe but it's a fact. It is three years ago today that I was first diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer and three years later I'm still around to talk about it.
There's a photo too, showing me just a few hours ago after enjoying a cup of coffee at a local garden centre.
I've managed to smile on this one as another photograph taken just a few days before showed a rather more serious face ~ not for any particular reason but probably just because sometimes I can look a bit miserable.
So, what's the state of play.
Well, I'm due for a couple of check-ups next week which will no doubt reveal more.
At present I can't walk more than a few yards without a zimmer [or safety walker as some of the health care professionals call it].
Besides a zimmer I also have :-
a wheelchair, just in case it's a longer journey I suppose;
a railing to help me up and down stairs ~ I managed to talk them out of putting in a stair lift. Not just yet ... please;
a seat to get into and out of the bath on. Before this was installed I hadn't had a proper bath or shower in weeks;
a raised toilet seat as the original one is too low; and finally,
an electric powered reclining chair [to help me get up and down].
I still take a lot of tablets including Oxycontin and [as a back up and because they act quicker] Oxynorm. These are pain relief tablets ~ they aren't going to cure me. The morphine based tablets I had been prescribed originally didn't agree with me ~ they gave me a rash on the inside of both arms though the rash didn't itch.
I believe that I may have another dose of chemotherapy which may prolong things but I will know more after my visit next week. After that I'm not sure that there are many more options open to me. I'm not getting downbeat about it though.
I haven't been out for a walk for some weeks now and it is debateable whether I will go out for a 'real' walk ever again. I have however read much more and that is proving to be an acceptable subsitute.
I realise I may never walk along any of the beautiful paths I have wandered all my adult life. I used to wonder how I would cope with that. Well, so far, I seem to be coping surprisingly well ... and surprising myself in the process.
Footnote ~ the hawk-eyed amongst you may have noticed that 3 times 365 is not 1101. Even allowing for a leap year or two 3 times 365 is still not 1101. My system must have broken down somewhere ... and that's the way it will have to stay.
Charlie you are such an inspiration,I feel guilty about moaning with a bad back today,you have so much more to cope with. I'm sure you miss your walks but If you are like me you can walk any where you like in your memory,I often stroll down Lathkil Dale when I'm trying to sleep here in Dorset. Take care.Ann
ReplyDeleteThank you Ann ~ hopefully I will manage a 'walk' or two more before I'm done. Along a trail or two perhaps but my cross country walking days are over I fear.
DeleteAs long you are not in too much pain, keep us up to date and take good care of yourself. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you Diane ... pain isn't too much of a problem at present.
DeleteSo happy to hear from you with an update, you are in my mind more than you'd credit! I'm glad to see your whiskery smile, too - much less scary than the previous photograph, even if it is Halloween. ;) I can remember exclaiming about the wonderful country you had to walk through and how lucky you were to be able to - I feel quite bad about saying that now, in the circumstances. However, I'm sure you also feel lucky to have been able to spend so much time out with the wind in your face and the grass under your feet - I know that's how I feel about all the years I spent with my horses. How much worse it would be now, if we hadn't have done that in the past, eh? :) Don't blame you about resisting the stair lift, for all that they look fun to ride. Let's keep as much of our abilities are we are able to, eh? So - three years. The time seems to have flown - but then when I look back at what has happened over those three years, it puts the time into perspective - and that's a great achievement. Keep on keeping on, Charlie - we're all lining the route. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words Jenny. We all have to keep on keeping on ... and I wish you the very best too of course.
DeleteThat's more like the Charlie we all know and love. Glad to hear that you have made it to the 3 yr mark and sorry that you are no longer able to enjoy any more of those marvellous walks we all know you for. I truly hope things get better before they get worse and I think you are handling all this far better than I ever could for that you have my admiration and respect....luv you Charlie M.
ReplyDeleteThank you Margo ~ I have the photographs from a fair view walks still to post and hopefully I will manage it before the sands of time run out :-)
DeleteHi Charlie!! It's good to see an update from you!! You're still looking the picture of (fuzzy-faced) health, despite your condition. I'm sorry you're no longer able to go walking. To badly paraphrase an old saying "it's better to have walked, and remember, than to have never walked at all". As Jenny said...keep on keeping on!! I guess I'm not hawk-eyed, because if you hadn't mentioned it I might not have realised the days-figure didn't match up.
ReplyDeleteI decided to smarten myself up a little ready for the bonfire last night ... but it was called off. Too much rain and too many strong winds. I will do my best to keep on :-)
DeleteMuch better pic, Charlie! I'm glad you haven't entirely given up hope of walking. But your posts of previous walks will keep you busy and walking virtually until then. Many congratulations of your anniversary!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Neil ... I must be feeling a little perkier. Thank you for the congratulations too.
DeleteI'm glad that the medical community is taking care of you, with a range of things (equipment to pain meds and everything else). You show great spirit, Charlie.
ReplyDeleteThe medical profession and the carers have been marvellous Pet. I have a lot to be thankful for ...
DeleteI've sat here for 5 minutes just thinking about your words and wondering how to comment. What you say about no more country walking makes me sad. I think I`ll go upstairs in a moment and dig out your walking book that sits in my bookcase and cruise through some of the pages, and imagine you striding out through Derbyshire in your prime. I just hope I will be as resilient and cheerful as you, Charlie if something similar happens to me. God bless.
ReplyDeleteI had always imagined I would keep on walking until I was in my 70s ... or even 80s Jeff. It seems highly unlikely this will happen. I may be able to get on some of the Trails and canal towpaths but I am unlikely to ever walk 'cross country'. I have to accept it. Thank you for your kind words Jeff ~ they are appreciated.
DeleteDearest Wildest Goose, your eyes are so full of all that you have seen and all that you have shared... Even at 35, I sometimes had to use the grocery scooters when my back went out. Now that I am 51 and I've had spinal arthritis since I was 25, I am not at all ashamed to say that I will happily use the augmented bath that we set up for when my mother in law visited for myself! I love having a bath seat and two shower heads, one which I can remove and use on my poor old back on the massage setting! And I have become more than adept at scooter shopping...I just wish they made them more powerful so the baskets were bigger to accommodate all of my groceries at one time! You are a wondrous and wonderful man and we need to hear from you no matter whether your perspective is from the top of a hill or from behind your zimmer... You are greatly loved across this wide world, Charlie...and my world is much greater because you are and have been a part of it.
ReplyDeleteOh, well said Celie Bush! :)
DeleteThank you for your very kind words Celie ... I don't feel that I deserve them. I will do as you ask though and keep my blogs coming for as long as I can.Your comments are very much appreciated Celie.
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ReplyDeleteI made two mistakes so had to restart. I wish I could just edit it. Anyhow what I said was....... hear, hear Celie Bush, well put. Please keep on blogging about anything that tickles your fancy. It doesn't have to be about walks and trails. I enjoy anything you write about. Sturks are good and mangolds. I would even like to know your favourite jokes and foods and movies. Hells bells, I just like reading anything that Mr. Wildgoose writes. I am having trouble believing it has been three years since you shocked me with the dire news. You are a fighter for sure. Praise the Lord for our Charlie.
ReplyDeleteAn editing feature would be great wouldn't it Karyn. Your comments here and elsewhere are also much appreciated by me ... thank you for your kind support.
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